This was an ambitious day. We planned to hike 15km from Stoney Creek to the east end of Hamilton. This destination was significant to us. Hamilton was the home to Hillfield Strathallan College where Kim and I had met and shared our school years so long ago. We had left a vehicle in the city where we would finish at Greenhill Ave. This urban endpoint seemed strange given that The Bruce Trail was ” a ribbon of wilderness”. After lots of driving (and lots of coffee), we climbed onto the escarpment at the end of Jones Rd in Stoney Creek.

There is always the initial “So how are you?” when we start out. We don’t always communicate regularly between hikes as we know that this great quality time is coming. This initial focus on each other, plus our need to find private trees after all the coffee, somehow caused us to make a wrong turn after we climbed up the hill. A good 10 minutes of walking happened before I became aware that the escarpment was sloping downwards to my left! This does emphasize the point that it is not so much the path we take, but who we take it with that defines our journey. Yet as nice as that sounds, we were going the wrong way. Coming about, we straightened her up and proceeded towards Tobermory, with Niagara behind us and the hill sloping off to the right.

Our children consume a large part of our conversation on these hikes. Kim’s three – Brooke, Charlotte and Tess and my Ava – are all girls going through the sometimes agonizing development of becoming young women. There is plenty to discuss. On this day we talked about how their high school and university lives are so different with COVID. Especially for Charlotte who is in her first year at McGill and Ava who has just started Grade 9. These are supposed to be years of meeting new friends and exploring new social lives. But not in 2020. Masks, social distancing and online learning have placed extraordinary constraints on these girls. We worry about their mental health and their ability to develop socially and with confidence in these strange times. Especially at an age when they are already so vulnerable.

Brooke, Charlotte, Tess and Ava – one day when you feel like reading this boring blog, know that we talked about EVERYTHING. Know that your mother had the best friend to bounce off her parenting struggles. Know that a mother’s love is the greatest love, and that together we have supported each other through the hardest job that there is. And we needed to do that. With my loss of Isabel, and Kim’s loss of Brett, we have needed to lean on each other so often. And all with the hope of keeping your lives as normal as possible.

People love to create resting spots in the woods. Most often when we come upon these places, there is no one there. Which is why they made them – solitude is easily found in this wilderness.

There were a lot of ups and downs on this hike. It is the most amazing series of staircases along the escarpment, and all built by Bruce Trail volunteers. Some feel safer than others!

This one had “good” graffiti.

There were local sites that were so familiar to us on this hike. Like most “locals”, we had not taken the time to explore them. One of these was the Devil’s Punchbowl, a 37m ribbon waterfall that slips over a horseshoe shaped rock formation. The creek is actually “Stoney Creek”. I had driven by this so many times on work calls but had never stopped – and it is so close to Ridge Road. It is sometimes in the news when fire fighters have to perform rope rescues for careless climbers. The Bruce Trail runs along the bottom of the Escarpment at this point and although there is a Devil’s Punchbowl Side Trail, we were feeling adventurous and decided to make our own way up the west side along small unmarked trails and in the creek bed. It had been an usually dry August and September and there was no water, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

Hiking up the Stoney Creek bed just above the lower falls which themselves are 5.5m high.

There was a point where we couldn’t go any further and we had to follow trails along the side again. The actual punch bowl rock formation is very dramatic and we wanted to get a picture of it from below. This was no easy task as a good view was obstructed by the angle and the trees. Plus the trail was very steep. And then a very interesting thing happened. Like two curious teenagers, Kim encouraged me to creep forward from the small trail that we were on to get into a better location for a good picture. I was feeling a little nervous about the height and the steepness of the slope. She seemed so confident and I didn’t wish to disappoint. I thought back to our teenage years, so brave were we. I swallowed my nerves and crept over the roots and rock. When I lifted an arm to take a picture I suddenly felt very precarious, but I took the picture. It’s not even that great – you can barely see the Punchbowl through the trees.

And then it happened. Fear gripped me like a vice. My heart rate went up and my stomach felt like it was in my throat. I couldn’t move, I knew I would slide down the slope to the rocky bottom far below if I so much as lifted a finger. I certainly couldn’t turn around and there was no going forward. “I can’t!” were the only words that I could say. I was literally paralyzed by fear. In her naturally gentle way, Kim talked me off of that cliff, ” You’re going to come back the same way you got there”, “put your hand on this root”. She offered her hand to me but at first I wouldn’t take it as I did want her to plummet over the edge with me. Then I held it, I moved, I followed her direction, I crawled back to sturdy ground. And then a great sigh of relief. This happens to me now, although mostly when driving in wet or icy weather. It is a consequence of the fatal car accident that I experienced when I lost Isabel. It is a triggering of the memory of events gone horribly wrong, of how small decisions can compound and result in tragedy. I guess it is PTSD, although I hate how that has become a household word, a common excuse. I am not that person, I am strong, I am confident…no, I am terrified.

Kim kept talking and told me a story of how she and her sister Deborah had got into a similar situation on a family trip out west. I felt the fear slip away, one step at a time. And then final relief as we stepped onto a known path.

There is a prominent cross perched over the Devil’s Punch Bowl. Here is a picture of it from below, taken before the fear incident.

The cross was erected in 1966 by William Sinclair to shine light on the world. His original intention was to turn it on for Christmas and Easter, but since 1991 it shines every night thanks to the The Knights of Columbus. It is 10m high.

The view from the top, like so many other Escarpment views, was nothing short of spectacular. Of course, Kim felt the need to point out where we had been on the other side!

Then there is the Punch Bowl itself. I am adding two pictures that I pulled from the internet as mine didn’t do it justice, plus it was dry that day. There are a few ideas floating around about how it got its name. One has to do with local bootlegging, others consider religious origins. I think it must have been named for its obvious shape with the added element of temptation. This remarkable rock formation draws you to it, creating the desire to climb, to be exalted. However it also has an ominous energy, a secret devilish knowledge that it is truly dangerous.

My photo –

This one I found online from a time of year when there is lots of water –

Another tempted climber must have taken this photo –

At the top of the Punch Bowl is this great little market. It is another familiar site that I had driven by several times. It has an eclectic variety of items for sale, in addition to good food. Some things we could really relate to. We promised to come back when not on foot so that we could make some purchases.

We often come across very interesting things on these hikes, and today was no exception. As we came back down the Devil’s Punch Bowl side trail back to the main Bruce Trail, there appeared to be someone at the bottom who had a strong resemblance to Mary Poppins! We wondered if it was a professional photo shoot.

It was a photo shoot, but a private one. This couple explained to us how they liked to dress up and photograph pictures of each other. They were excited to tell us that their favourite shoot was “American Gothic”. We could totally imagine them doing this after walking right into their strange little world!

They wanted to take a picture with our dogs. Stella was willing but Coco was a skeptic!

We had to retrace our steps a little. Where we had left the main trail for our little climbing adventure was east of this spot where the side trail rejoined. If we were to claim that we had hiked The Bruce Trail end to end, then there could be no skipped spots.

Glorious marks the spot!

The railway runs close to the base of the Escarpment in this area. Here we used the rail right of way to pass under Centennial Parkway. This was a path that we wouldn’t take under other circumstances! I wonder how often Bruce Trail volunteers have to repaint this marker.

As we got closer to Hamilton and its urban population, more and more unmarked trails appeared. This strip of woods must be fun to hang out in, and for playing pranks. The Bruce Trail is on the right. If you look carefully at this photo, the true marker is at the far right edge. Hopefully no one fell for this silly graffiti!

Kim had her own panic attack on this hike. She stopped walking and was flicking at her hair. I asked her what she was doing. “There is a tick in my hair!” she exclaimed. Some leafy bit fell to the ground but I couldn’t see a tick. As she stood there shuddering I tried to find said tick but it simply was not there. “It’s still there!” Kim was certain. Well it was a tinier cliff, but I talked her off of it.

We were really surprised by the scenery and trail networks in this area. When we were growing up, east end Hamilton was an area where we were forbidden to go. It was considered rough and dangerous – populated with steel workers and drug dealers – not a place for teenage girls from a west end private school. These stigmas keep a tight hold, even on an adult brain many years later. The trails and scenery from the Punch Bowl into the Red Hill Valley are extensive and easily rival the Dundas Valley in vastness and beauty.

Nature offers so many great pictures.

And there are so many waterfalls. This one would be beautiful when there is water. In hindsight I learned that this is Felker’s Falls and Davis Creek, but we don’t know these things approaching from the Bruce Trail where there is no signage.

Leaving Felker’s Falls we walked westward into the Red Hill Valley. This area is home to the Red Hill Valley Parkway, an expressway that was built in the 2000s after 50 years of dispute between the City of Hamilton, the provincial and federal governments and environmental organizations. Of course the disputes were over the necessity to relieve traffic congestion vs the environmental impact on the Niagara Escarpment and this sensitive valley. Walking here was enlightening. The old roadway was left in place and is now used for exercise by residents. The expressway itself appears to travel over the valley in parts leaving the land underneath intact. The surrounding area has been preserved and improved. I read also that the city removed a toxic landfill during the construction. The trails are extensive and I changed my negative opinion of this project which had been influenced largely by the voice of a negative media.The Red Hill project also honoured First Nations history. Here we are taking a break in a bear claw. You can see the expressway in the background.

And so many trails. We had no idea that these trails even existed! Including the main Bruce Trail we were standing on, there are three others intersecting in this picture.

We were getting tired by this point. We came to the Red Hill Creek and took a final break. This hike had taken all day! The dogs were glad for a water break.

We thought we were almost done, but there were still 2km to go along the west side of the valley to get back to our vehicle. Side trails led to Albion and Buttermilk falls but those walks weren’t happening this day!

When Kim and I started these hikes, we were looking for a way to spend time together and focus on something other than the grief that had consumed our friendship in recent years. I realize in writing this blog that these hikes truly provide time to live in the moment. The grieving process is wrapped up in difficult memories of the past and fears of a lonely future and there is such a lesson in this for any of us who are grieving. Hike 15 km with a great friend and two awesome dogs and a million brilliant moments make the past and the future just disappear.

The staircase down to Greenhill Avenue, east end Hamilton. It had been a day.

109km down, 785 to go.